But I always wanted to be a mom. It wasn't supposed to be this hard. I'm part of the post-women's-lib generation, the one who was taught that pregnancy could happen at any time, and the generation who was given the luxury of the birth control pill as a means of suppressing it.
If only I knew.
My husband and I waited until the supposed "right" time. Nothing happened. Visits to the OB led to a prescription for one of the relatively milder fertility drugs, Clomid. Ultrasounds and monitoring. Nothing. I underwent blood tests - all clean. DH underwent tests - all came back fine.
Looking back, I had the major indicators of a problem nearly going back twenty years. A cycle that was always a disaster. Inconsistent and irregular at best. Debilitating cramps. Really debilitating cramps. To the point that I missed work, school, and all life functions on a daily basis. To the point where 7 cm dilation in Bug's labor didn't feel as bad as my monthly cramps. I thought it was normal. Everyone talks about menstrual cramps, so what was the problem? The awesomeness of the birth control pill hid my cramps for over 10 years and let me function like a vaguely normal human being.
As I've since learned, any sign of _debilitating_ cramps is worth investigating.
As I've since learned, any sign of _debilitating_ cramps is worth investigating.
I trucked off to a referral with a local reproductive endocrinologist. Bedside manner of zero. Major fail. I was referred to a second reproductive endocrinologist, Dr. Samuel Brown. Awesome guy, really liked him. Major disadvantage - clinic 1.75 hours away from our house. That was irrelevant at this point, just a "minor" inconvenience. Ha. Said by someone who clearly hadn't gone through IVF monitoring.
Endometriosis was mentioned by both Dr. Brown and my OB as the surmised cause of my infertility. The one test that could verify it, a laparoscopy, didn't offer enough in the way of increased pregnancy rates to overcome my fear of the small surgical risks that could occur. We discussed IUI and other options. We compared costs, success rates and what would work best for our needs. I enquired about mini-stim in-vitro fertilization (essentially, a test tube baby created using a lesser number of hormones than full IVF), and eventually decided to pursue it. The specs of our situation - insurance, probable cause of infertility and financial - made it the best option.
I started suppression for IVF #1 in December of 2011, followed by stims in January of 2012. A 3DT of two embryos on January 20th gave us our little boy 8 months later. The 1.75-hr drive to Dr. Brown's clinic at least 10 times during that cycle was inconvenient, but apparently quite worth it. Very thankful for close friends in Jacksonville who opened up their house and hearts to me during that time. And for our beloved Prius, Yoda.
After Bug's arrival, I was worn out by a difficult pregnancy as well as the infertility leading up to it. Figured he'd be an only child. As he progressed towards toddlerhood, I realized that, while I was content with one, I wanted to see if we could bring another child into this world.
Enter another year of trying. A diagnosis of treatable postpartum hypothyroidism. A diagnosis of secondary infertility (technically awarded after 6 months of infertility post-child). Our cross-country move the year prior necessitated our referral to a new reproductive endocrinologist, Dr. Al Yuzpe. Endometriosis and laparoscopy broached again. More bloodwork. Hysterosalpingogram (HSG) performed in June. No pain from it (a lovely surprise!), but caused debilitating monthly cramps to return with a vengeance. Went back on birth control pill. Not a great way to try to get pregnant.
After Bug's arrival, I was worn out by a difficult pregnancy as well as the infertility leading up to it. Figured he'd be an only child. As he progressed towards toddlerhood, I realized that, while I was content with one, I wanted to see if we could bring another child into this world.
Enter another year of trying. A diagnosis of treatable postpartum hypothyroidism. A diagnosis of secondary infertility (technically awarded after 6 months of infertility post-child). Our cross-country move the year prior necessitated our referral to a new reproductive endocrinologist, Dr. Al Yuzpe. Endometriosis and laparoscopy broached again. More bloodwork. Hysterosalpingogram (HSG) performed in June. No pain from it (a lovely surprise!), but caused debilitating monthly cramps to return with a vengeance. Went back on birth control pill. Not a great way to try to get pregnant.
With such debilitating cramps still on the horizon, we decided to go at the fertility full-force once again. We pursued our first course of full IVF. Stims started in late October of 2014; cycle produced three blastocysts on day 5. A 5DT of one (other two cryopreserved) yielded a chemical pregnancy two weeks later. I went through a round of hormonal suppression and then geared up for our first frozen embryo transfer in February.
And that is where I am today. 8DP5DT of FET#1. More to come.
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